A Good Way to Make Nachos

So I have had a problem for a long time when I eat nachos, that when everyone eats them at once and the top layer is eaten off, they are left with just gross stale-like chips, and nobody wants that shit. Also, they always pile all the sour cream, salsa and guacamole into specific places like you only want it on one or two chips, and that is just not cool.

I have also found that people have ten kinds of ideas as to what goes into nachos. There are some basics--chips and cheese. Beyond that nobody knows what the hell they're doing. Are there olives? Maybe? How about fresh tomatoes? Nobody seems to know.

Anyway, I decided it is time that we settle this matter and find a *good* way to make nachos. First of all, there is like some kind of seven layer burrito at Taco Bell. Is Taco Bell seriously the only place that realises how important layers are in food? Nachos should be like ogres...which are like onions. Layers are important in all types of food. Like Cake. Nobody eats cake without layers (well they do, but they should be shot.)

So, anyway: A Good Way To Eat Nachos.

Preface to the recipe: These nachos entail a serious commitment to Nacho-Eating. Make sure to make them when you are having a party or plan to eat a lot of nachos or to feed a family for a fortnight.

Things you will have to buy:
-A large bag of tortilla chips, like fiesta-size. I use blue corn chips, organic and whatnot. They're really good.
-Meat. About a pound of ground beef should do it.
-2 cans of pinto beans.
-Blocks of cheese. We got normal Cabot sharp cheddar, some chipotle cheddar (which was really good) and possibly some pepper jack. You'll want a lot of it.
-Tomatoes, probably 3 is a good amount.
-Onions. Only one will do. I don't like onions very much.
-A jar of olives, they are necessary.
-Jalepeno peppers if you like them. I suggest buying two large ones.
-Garlic. You should really have a bulb of it lying around somewhere, though you'll only need about two little pieces from the bulb.
-Shredded lettuce. Buy this in a bag unless you have a paper shredder dedicated to lettuce.
-A jar of a good salsa. Everyone likes different salsa, so get one that you really like.
-2 ripe avocados. Make sure they are ripe!
-Fresh cilantro. If you don't like cilantro, you don't deserve these nachos.
-Sour Cream. Seriously, don't try to tell me it is okay to eat nachos without sour cream.
-Some spices, like chili powder, ground red pepper, and stuff like that.
-Cinnamon. The spice is life.

Okay, now what to do. Start with the pinto beans. Empty one can into a pan on the stove on medium heat and mash them up like you are making refried beans. You kind of are. Then you add the second can, and you mash a little more. This way you have a good amount of variety in the texture of your beans. This is, to me, a necessity. (Alternative: if you make a good bean dip, like Dave's Muad'dip, use it.) Add some spices to the beans.

At this point you should begin cooking the beef, and don't just throw it into the pan. Put a bunch of butter in the pan first, along with spices like the chili powder and MOST IMPORTANT THE CINNAMON. Don't forget cinnamon. But don't put too much in, that would just be weird. Melt the butter and the spices together and then add the beef, but remember you're not making a burger so make sure it's all broken up and in pieces. Cook it thoroughly, then add the beans to the meat. Mix it all together so it's like really really bad chili. (Beans and meat does not equal chili.) Add some water if it seems too dry, remember this will be baked later.

Now shred the cheese. Make sure not to mix the different types of cheese together, layering them separately will be an integral part of layering later on.

Now chop up some onion. Small pieces are better.

Now is the time to layer. Get a large cookie sheet and spray or brush it with oil so nothing sticks to it. Spread a thin layer of chips over the cookie sheet. Put clumps of your meat/beans mixture all over it fairly evenly. You won't be able to spread it, so just put clumps in a reasonable looking pattern. Then sprinkle onions and one kind of cheese over it. Keep repeating this, except alternating cheeses, until you've run out of ingredients.

Now, and not one minute earlier, should you begin to preheat your oven. I'd say 300 or 350 should do it. Once the oven's heated, put your tower of nachos in for about 20 minutes to melt the cheese and warm everything up. The nachos should come out nice and crispy.

On to the rest: Make your guacamole. Some people think guacamole is something that happens to a man when he is too old and sick to tie his own shoelaces, but this is not true. It is delicious if made wrong, and will complete your life if made correctly. Take half a tomato, some pieces of onion (you decide how much), two pieces of garlic off the side of a big lump, and a bunch of cilantro. Put it all in a food processor. You'll end up with something looking...well, weird. Now you want to cut the avocado and get all the green stuff and mash it up nice and gooey and add the stuff from the food processor. Honestly, this will make a fine guacamole in and of itself and you don't need to add anything else, but I like some chunks of tomato and onion in mine. This is optional.

Chop up the tomatoes and olives and jalepenos and put them in bowls. Put a spoon in the salsa, sour cream and the guacamole. Put all the lettuce from the bag into a bowl if you want, but it doesn't really matter. Putting things in bowls prevents the problem of having all of a certain thing on top of one chip and everyone getting made that they didn't get any.

Get plates, spoons, forks, whatever you need to enjoy this stuff and dig in. It should be delicious. If not, you made it wrong (perhaps you need to add more cheese.)

Thank you. Now go make these nachos. Seriously. And DON'T FORGET THE CINNAMON.

caving in to the meme

1. Go to IMDB.com and look up 10 of your favorite movies/TV shows.
2. Post three four? official IMDB "Plot Keywords" for each.
3. Hey guys, guess the movies/shows!

1: Suicide Attempt, Arranged Marraige, Evil Prince, Drunkenness
2: Crucifixion, Controversial, Jesus Christ, Character Name in Title
3: Female Lawyer, Office, Dark Humour, Illness
4: Cut Out Animation, Running Gag, Social Satire, Actor Playing Multiple Roles
5: Homocidal Baby, Politically Incorrect, Obesity, Sex
6: Corset, Monkey, Drag, Face Slap
7: Pool Table, Female Nudity, Life, Christmas
8: Con Artist, Enchantment, Witch, Severed Head
9: Undead, Epic, Coronation, Person On Fire
10: Anthropomorphic, Hidden Civilization, Magic, Medieval

Okay, so of the ten...4 of them are TV shows and 6 are movies, just as a helpful hint. I tried not to make it too easy, we'll see how that goes.
defying gravity

Punk rock? What?

The Everything Test

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

You are more emotional than logical, more concerned about self than concerned about others, more atheist than religious, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more traditional than rebel, more artistic mind than engineering mind, more idealist than cynical, more follower than leader, and more extroverted than introverted.

As for specific personality traits, you are intellectual (93%), romantic (71%), artistic (59%), horny (56%).

Young Professional82%
Punk Rock67%
Life Experience

Your political views would best be described as Socialist, whom you agree with around 83% of the time.
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Upper Middle Class. You make more than 0% of those who have taken this test, and 99% less than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13.
By the way, your hottness rank is 62%, hotter than 88% of other test takers.

brought to you by thatsurveysite

defying gravity

(no subject)

Painting stuff!

Today was my last day of work, and I took a lot of pictures of the stuff we've been doing. Most of this isn't just me, I'll point out the things I did so you guys can tell me how awesome I am! :) I'm not sure how easy some of it is to see, but...here goes.

Collapse )

The end.
defying gravity



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